IVF is the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life.

IVF is the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life. It is full of disappointment and hope.

Both my ICSI ivf attempts failed. And I was left feeling like I hated everyone who had a child, upset and angry cross- depressed. I began to feel less important after IVF failed a second time: IVf was no longer defining my journey as a person and I would never have children.

My husband suffered a lot too – having to deal with people he worked with whinging about having kids and just the generic “I’m having my third”… babies define this world. And when you don’t have them it feels like you aren’t part of that world. Somehow you don’t matter. And you start believing that, when all the adverts on tv and social media are aimed at having children, or babies or expectant mothers. Why do we congratulate two people for consummating their relationship? Surely if I had got pregnant now there’s hard work for you and a congratulations in order in deed.

I would say to anyone coping or going through IVF that emotional ups and downs are all part of the course. And it is natural to hate aor feel great dislike to those with children. Because you don’t hate them or wish them harm at all, you just wish upon wish you had your own child to tuck into bed at night. Allow yourself to feel and get angry get upset, you don’t need an action plan right away. What you need is to remember that you are you. You don’t have to wear a mask.