Talking about fertility is key to raising awareness of fertility issues, breaking down taboos and shattering myths . That’s why #TalkFertility is at the heart of National Fertility Awareness Week 2017. We want to get people talking about the real facts about fertility – and not the myths and misconceptions.
On this page, you will find links to real life #TalkFertility stories, plus our #HiddenFaces videos which reveal what it’s actually like to face fertility problems. If you’d like to contribute your own #TalkFertility story, email firstname.lastname@example.org
I’ve read lots of articles about what to or not to say to people who are childless not by choice. Many of the suggestions are so right but sometimes it isn’t about what’s said. I hate to sound selfish but sometimes it’s about what’s going on in my head. Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to know what that is, it changes all the time – and it will be different for everyone. But here are some of the things that pop up time and time again for me. Hopefully they will help you understand me a bit better.
- I notice what’s missing. There were close family births a month before and a month after my first due date. Each time I’m there and these children are together I notice what’s missing. When they are side by side I notice the gap in the middle. I won’t tell you because I don’t want you to see it. I don’t want you to see me notice. But it’s there.
- I may have become paranoid. When I come to your children’s christenings and birthdays I feel like people watch me with the little ones and feel sorry for me and I hate it. It means I might not get as involved as I used to or don’t play for as long, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there.
- I’d like to choose. I may not always want to come to the party but please give me the choice. Not inviting me, even with good intention, makes me feel left out and isolated. I would love to come, although I may find it hard. If I can, I will.
- Sometimes it is easier if it’s just us though. But I mean with the little ones too. I just prefer not to have the crowd.
- I love the school run. It’s a novelty for me. I understand why you would think otherwise, but if you need me, I’m there.
- The attention from your little ones means everything to me. You may not realise, but face-timing me with them to sing happy birthday to me is all the present I’d ever need.
- I’m unpredictable. I genuinely never know when it’s going to hit. I obviously try to predict and avoid triggers, but the strangest things can set me off. I don’t want to get you down, I’d rather I didn’t feel like this myself.
- I will never get over this. I know that sounds like self-pity but it’s not, it’s just a fact. Just like having children changes your life forever, not having them is going to change mine forever too.
Infertility – A Journey Nobody Expects by Gareth Brown
Life as a father has been amazing. My kids make me laugh and love like I’ve never before. Although it wasn’t an easy ride for my wife and I in conceiving. READ FULL STORY
Did you know:
Female fertility is falling from age 28 or earlier; at age 35 it declines rapidly – that is why fertility clinics do not accept egg donation from women over the age of 35. Download our #5AgesofFemaleFertility infographic to find out more.
Did you know:
Most women having IVF started trying for a baby in their early 30s; fertility data shows women having IVF in the UK were on average 35 years old and had been trying to conceive for 4 years. It is a media myth that IVF is for women who have left it too late. Download and share the infographics and change perceptions.
Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say to a loved one experiencing the heartbreak and emotional fragility of infertility. Being aware of ‘fertility etiquette’ can help. Soon you will be able to download our #TalkFertility guide for family and friends on what to say, what not to say and how best to provide support.
Watch our videos
#HiddenFaces: revealing the real faces behind fertility struggles
The pain of never
Recurring Miscarriage – Kate’s Story
Born to be a mother
The grief of childlessness
Without a womb
A final word
National Fertility Awareness Week: providing support, improving awareness, raising funds and changing perceptions