#IVFis40 memories

 “IVF ruined my life, my marriage, I’m over the fact I’ll never have children but I’m still angry, resentful and bitter… every day I wonder what if… why me??? I’ve suffered autoimmune problems ever since I started on the drugs and I still suffer. I’m happy for all those it worked for but it was a killer for me… took them 2 years to get me on the right regime. No one ever talks about when it doesn’t work. I just wish more people would understand the lasting effects and pain infertility causes… it’s wonderful for those it works for… but who actually cares about the ones it doesn’t work for… my life has never worked as I planned it. I wanted children; I didn’t plan to work, but to be there as my mum was… I wanted to do so many things… all I got left with is debts… pain, autoimmune diseases, constantly working through my pain and allergies… a marriage that doesn’t work, bitterness, anger, resentment… it hurts everyday!”

 

“IVF gave us everything we wanted, answered our prayers and filled the huge gap in our lives. We could only afford one cycle so gave it a go and gave birth to our beautiful little boy in July 2014 ”

 

“IVF changed my life. It didn’t work for us; in fact it left me with a myriad of health problems. But it confirmed what we thought in the first place: adoption was right for us and we were right for 2 wonderful (challenging!) children. Adoption is far from the easy route and it’s not right for all but so far despite the very difficult times has been right for us.”

“Without IVF I wouldn’t have my family that I longed for, for 11 years.”

“Thank you IVF, I got my little miracle girls.”

“IVF gave me my world.”

 

“IVF/ICSI gave me my beautiful little boy who I waited 5 long years for”

 

 

“IVF changed my life, but not in the way I expected it to. It didn’t bring me my children (they turned up years later) but it changed everything and led me to other things. I even wrote a book about it. I have PCOS so after trying for a baby unsuccessfully for well over a year we were referred to see the infertility specialist at the local hospital. During this year of tests we discovered that my husband had a low sperm count, so our only way forward was IVF treatment. There was no point in trying Clomid or IUI with issues on both sides. The only things standing in our way were weight loss and the waiting list. I had almost 100 lbs to lose and the waiting list was going to be about 18 months. I dedicated myself to losing weight – and for the first time in my life (I was late 20s at the time) I successfully managed to lose weight and within a year I had achieved the necessary weight loss to qualify us for treatment. This felt like the first miracle. If it weren’t for our need of IVF treatment I am certain I would never have lost the weight – having PCOS meant that I had always struggled to lose weight in the past.

Soon the time arrived for us to have our first IVF treatment cycle. We had two embryos transferred and I became pregnant only to miscarry at five weeks. Our second and final (two cycles were funded in Wales at the time) treatment cycle was unsuccessful, none of the retrieved eggs fertilised. These two experiences were utterly heart breaking and immensely difficult. But I used that pain to push forward and began running. The following year I raised thousands for various charities and ran two marathons and several half marathons – a very big deal for me – as a previously morbid obese person I’d never thought I would be able to run two miles, never mind 26.2 miles! It was a positive way to move on. After our dream of having our own child ended along with IVF, I learned so much about myself, and in the process of preparing for treatment and the aftermath of it being unsuccessful, I achieved things I never thought possible.

When we closed the door on treatment and put ideas about adoption on hold, after seven years of infertility, we achieved a surprise pregnancy completely out of the blue. Our miracle daughter was born at the end of 2015. Nine months after her birth I fell pregnant again, and our son was born in June 2017, yet another miracle.

While IVF treatment didn’t bring our children to us, I will always be grateful for the experience because it truly changed my life in ways I never expected.

In between the birth of my daughter and son I wrote a book about my experience of infertility, which was published in June 2017, called Little Something: From Infertility & IVF to Marathons & Motherhood. Again, this is something I would never have achieved if it hadn’t been for my experience of IVF treatment. Sometimes life takes you to places you could never have predicted, but on reflection you see the journey made sense all along. ”

 

” IVF fulfilled our family’s dreams”

 

 

 

“My name is Andreia Trigo (RN BSc MSc) and I was diagnosed with infertility at the age of 17. This challenge made me question my identity, my self-worth, my self-image, my role in a relationship, in family and in society.  Using logotherapy and neurolinguistic programming, I was able to find peace and live a happy, fulfilling life. It has been my life mission ever since to help other people achieve the same. 

This book is part of that mission. It combines my personal experience and my work experience as a fertility coach and nurse specialist, so others who are facing fertility and involuntary childlessness challenges can:

  • Cope with the losses of infertility
  • Create a new fertility plan
  • Increase their chances of success in achieving that plan.

These strategies will help you find balance, peace, joy and strength to rise above inevitable suffering and live a meaningful, purposeful life regardless of circumstances.”

I have just set up the Just Giving page linked to NFAW:
For every £12 donation to Fertility Network UK through this page, I will send a copy of my recently published book.

I guess our story begins in November 2012 when we got married.  We had been together three and a half years at this point, but I was very particular that we shouldn’t have a baby before we got married – how stupid that seems now.  My husband and I were late meeting in life, when we got married I was nearly 34 and he was 37, at the time that didn’t seem to matter but of course it has played its part in our fertility problems.  READ THE FULL STORY